Shampoo and bibles.

I remember looking at the cargo in the aircraft’s hold and thinking to myself this must be some kind of sick joke. What possible use could countless thousands of starving Sudanese people in the heart of the country’s remote Nuba mountains have for shampoo and bibles? Evidently, the supplier, a US Christian charity and aid organisation, seemed to think the items were indispensable.

The fact that the Nuba, far from being Christian themselves, were followers of Islam or continued to practice old shamanistic beliefs, appeared not to have registered on the cultural radar of their American benefactors.

Looking back now on that moment in 2001 at the airstrip in the Kenyan town of Lokichoggio it remains as surreal today as it did then. For the first time though, it really brought home to me the true nature of some so-called humanitarian aid and the often questionable uses to which it is put. In this instance, the US charity’s fundamentalist missionary zeal and determination to convert had clearly wiped out any understanding of the actual situation on the ground. As for the shampoo, well, apparently, a supermarket chain had donated it and the charity felt duty bound to deliver it, even if it did cost a fortune and their flights clogged up the congested makeshift runway and delayed others carrying life-saving food aid, medical supplies and other essentials into the region.

Let me be clear about what I’m saying here. Yes, humanitarian aid keeps people alive, gives them reason to hope and have faith, confidence and trust in others. But aid is also a propagandist tool, a weapon, a career move, a subterfuge for corruption, opportunism and dictatorship, not to mention an excuse for pop stars to mouth off and bible-bashers to preach.

Anyone in need of a reminder here need look no further than the current controversy surrounding the BBC World Service report claiming that millions of pounds of Live Aid money was siphoned off to buy arms for rebels fighting Ethiopia’s military dictatorship at the height of the famine there in 1985.

In the midst of the predictable rant that followed from an outraged Bob Geldof and barely comprehensible comments from Midge Ure – quoted in this newspaper earlier in the week – the real question, that of whether humanitarian aid actually works and just who really benefits, was duly obscured and drowned out. Aid is a strange thing. For a start there are different kinds, such as emergency aid, development aid and charity aid. Like aid itself, those who work in the industry – and these days that’s exactly what it is, a commercial industry – come in various types.

First, there are the holier-than-thous. Invariably, this category of aid worker tends to be faith-driven, hellbent on setting the world to rights with an evangelical zeal. Some years ago in Malawi I encountered just this kind of thinking among the ex-patriot staff at an orphanage for children whose parents had died of AIDs. To these ‘humanitarian workers’ AIDs prevention didn’t go beyond sexual abstinence, contraception being totally at odds with their own religious beliefs. Hardly surprising then that the orphanage they ran was constantly full to capacity.

Today though, far and away the vast majority of aid workers are of the professional type, their chosen careers little more than a modern day version of the colonial service. In my experience, usually the most impressive are the least politically correct. Pragmatists, they know that what they do is a drop in the ocean when it comes to alleviating human suffering, but still they get things done and win the trust of those they are trying to help. Such individuals however, are the exception.

A whole swathe of the humanitarian community remains riddled with the self-righteous. Frankly, I’m sick and tired of those aid workers who consistently believe that somehow because of what they do they are above criticism. It’s high time they realised that the money they spend – especially public donations – needs to be accounted for, and that if the work they do is of dubious intent, shoddily managed or ineffectual then they are open to questioning and where necessary investigation, just like any other industry.

Faced with an increasingly congested and competitive marketplace, aid organisations jockey constantly for the attention of the media whenever they spring into action in some disaster zone. Just take the recent earthquake in Haiti as one example. Yet, the moment the media does its job and turns the spotlight on their failings, like Geldof they jump up and down crying foul.

“Either as individuals or organisations, it’s about time a little humility was allowed into your closed self-regarding little media world,” accused Geldof rather ironically, in his rambling response to the BBC’s claims about the misuse of Live Aid money. I say ironic not least given that it was a media report, that of the BBC’s Michael Buerk and cameraman Mohammed Amin, that first alerted the world to the famine in Ethiopia in the first place.

As ever, Geldof’s latest reaction has been long on outrage and short on analysis. Precisely the sort of muddle-headed thinking that ensures well-intentioned do-gooders like him get taken to the cleaners by dodgy African regimes and despots, who can spot an opportunity a mile off.

To be fair to Geldof, admittedly the BBC’s programme was largely based on the claims of two former rebel commanders said to have political axes to grind. This however in no way justifies Geldof’s claims that the BBC simply had it in for him and Band Aid or failed in its journalistic role.

The politics of aid is a complicated business. Anyone who has spent any time in a disaster or conflict zone knows all too well that aid is a commodity to be exploited be it for weapons, financial gain or political power. We owe it to every person who drops a few quid into a can to help their fellow human beings, to make sure the money they give does just that, rather than subsidising some warlord. Journalism’s investigative role is as important in that capacity as it is in bringing the suffering to our attention in the first place. As for Geldof, he should stop bleating and let professional aid workers get on with what they do best. There is no shortage of need in the world today.